Deadpool's Erotic Pirate Adventure
by CablesAndCrack
Summary: Captain Wade Wilson of the ship known as the Deadpool leads his valiant crew through a sex-driven saga on the seven seas starring characters from the Marvel and DC Universes.
1. Cookie Crisis

**Author's Notes: As promised, Deadpool is taking to the seven seas with his trusty crew to conquer both Marvel and DC. Featuring a lot of sex, I'm just going to make this one up as I go along and see how it goes. Have fun!**

Captain Wade Wilson of the pirate vessel known as the Deadpool had set sail on the seven seas three days ago with his trusty crew. "It's happened again!" Clayface the Quartermaster complained. Wade rubbed his temples in frustration. Someone kept breaking into the cookie jar and stealing the cookies. "Leave it to me," he said with confidence, striking a heroic pose.

As he approached his cabin to ponder on the day's dilemma, he was met by an angry brunette. She stood outraged, outside the captain's cabin. Wanda Maximoff, the ship's chef, and lucky charm. She wore a puffy white shirt under a dark faded corset, with a short green skirt and long leather boots. "What is it now?" Wade asked in disbelief. His eyes were drawn to her slender thighs. "Almost all of your crew were drunk last night Captain Wilson. If we keep this sort of behaviour up then he'll catch us in no time!" Wade placed his hand on her shoulder with a comforting smile: "I'll look after the crew, we're doing fine. Your father isn't going to catch us."

Wanda seemed satisfied and marched back down to the kitchen. "Bossy and paranoid..." he muttered with a shake of his head. He cocked it to the side, watching her descend down to the kitchen. "Nice ass though..." he smirked. Then, finally, he entered his cabin. His eyes instantly flew to the small prison cell in the corner of the room with the curtain drawn across. He whipped the curtain back to reveal his captive.

Chained in the cell was an agent of the royal navy, Wilson's sworn enemies. It was one of Admiral Frost's soldiers, a feisty little thing called Zinda Blake. Her reputation had earned her the nickname, Lady Blackhawk. She had nice legs as well. "What do you want?" Zinda demanded. "A puppy. And whoever is stealing the cookies." Zinda rolled her eyes. "How would I know? And why do you want a puppy? They drool everywhere." Wade thought for a moment. "I'd settle for a goldfish. But not a cat. Cats are evil. Someone should round up all the cats in the world and make cat stew. Hey, stew!" Zinda looked at him confused, not following at all. "That's it! We've got a stewaway!" Wade announced. "It's called a stowaway," Zinda corrected him. Wade looked at her sceptically: "I've heard it both ways."

Wade left his cabin in triumph, a grin spread across his face. Now all he had to do was find this stowaway, and the cookie problem would be solved. He knew where he could find them though. The only logical hiding place would be the supply hatch. He called for his first mate. Some had doubted, and even gone as far as to mock, Captain Wilson's choice of first mate, but Damian Wayne was the perfect sidekick. He was mostly silent and he was deadly. He just so happened to be a ten year old. "What?" Damian demanded. "I need the key to the supply hatch." Damian looked at his captain astonished. "But no one goes to the supply hatch..." Wade snatched the key from Damian, "I know about the hauntings. I ain't afraid of no ghost!"

Captain Wilson heaved the supply hatch open and crawled into the dark room. He could hear echoes of the souls trapped in here by the ghost, but he ignored them. His eyes scanned for the stowaway. The stowaway was given away by her pink hair at the front of her otherwise white locks. Wade held a revolver to the back of her head. She stood up with her hands in the air. "Who are you?" Wilson asked. "Melissa Gold," she answered. The name rang a bell. "What are you?" Wade asked this time. "An adventurer, called Songbird." Wade realised who he was talking too. Songbird was supposedly a criminal, and a good one at that. She was probably forced to enter the ship in secret to avoid detection from the police. He lowered his gun. "Welcome aboard!"

It unfolded that Melissa wasn't a criminal anymore, she was reformed, but apart from that Wade was spot on. He couldn't let her stay in the haunted hatch, so he offered his cabin for the night while Clayface prepared another for the rest of her time on the Deadpool. She obliged.

The curtain was drawn over the sleeping Lady Blackhawk, and Songbird's black and white clothes lay in a heap at the foot of Wilson's bed. Wade himself, was crouched by the door to the bathroom, watching through the keyhole as the beautiful Songbird took a shower. It was steamy in there so he couldn't make out much, but what he saw: he liked. Mostly, all he could see was her back, with her long hair draping down it, but occasionally he would get a flash of breast or she'd bend forwards and display her smooth butt.

Wade was supposed to be sleeping in Damian's cabin, but he preferred the view in his own. Of course, he'd had to scarper when she was finished. He heard the water turn off and stepped back from the door. It swung open and Melissa stepped out, with a towel wrapped around her. "The room is ready for you," Wade said with a mock bow. Melissa smiled. Wade passed her clothes to her then turned away so she could get dressed. Songbird turned her back also then dropped the towel. Wade turned back to watch now that she was facing away.

In truth, Songbird knew that captain Wilson was watching as she slid her knickers on and fastened her bra. She reached for her shirt but Wade caught her hand and turned her to face him again. "Regulation 107," he told her, "no female member of the crew under the age of 40 is allowed in the captain's cabin unless clad only in underwear or less." Melissa smirked: "I'd be more comfortable in less."

Wade took the hint, and wrapped his arms around her, lowering her onto his bed. She giggled as he fondled her breasts through her bra. Then he reached around her and unclipped it, dropping it to the ground. Wade grinned as he took her right nipple into his mouth and gently sucked. '_Screw her. Screw her hard.'_ "I'm working on it," Wade responded out loud to the voices in his head. Melissa raised an eyebrow, "I can see that," she whispered, "Work me harder..." Wade shrugged, taking her other breast into his left hand and pumping it against her furiously. His right hand trailed down over her stomach and to her panties, sliding inside. He started to finger her.

She sprawled beneath him, like putty in the palm of his hand. His finger encircled the walls of her pussy, sliding in and out. She moaned out, begging for it, begging for him. He pinched the sides of her knickers and forced them down. Then he released his penis. His dick poked at the edges of her vagina and she breathed in and out heavily, her chest rising each time. Both hands were groping her boobs now, relentlessly. He pumped them down into her chest then up towards her neck, then pulled them back towards him, stretching them as far as they could go, then shoved them back down to her, working them hard and fast. Straddling her waist, he lowered his penis down into her. It brushed past her clit and deep into her pussy. She bit her lip in lust.

He thrust down into her harder and harder, getting faster with each movement. She was moaning each time, desperate for him. He pressed his lips to her forehead gently then whispered into her ear: "Welcome to the crew..." With that said, he screwed her into the bed. He fucked her with stamina of a superman until she couldn't take anymore and started to orgasm. Wade let himself finish inside her. She slumped back in orgasm and Wade buried himself in her chest. The cookie problem was no more...

Wade left Melissa sleeping, and slipped to his first mate's room. Damian wasn't asleep. He never was. "I can smell sex on you," Damian commented as Wade entered. What a barrel of fun. Damian was sat cross-legged on the top bunk reading a book entitled 'the history of war and how to recreate it;' all the cabins except the captain's were designed to fit two. No one had wanted to share with Damian. "Cookies?" Wade asked as he spotted a plate by the bed stocked with Wade's favourites: vinegar and chocolate chip. "I presume Maximoff left them for you, she knows I hate chocolate chip." Damian stated. Wade assumed that meant he didn't mind vinegar. "Remind me to thank her tomorrow," Wade said, getting into his bunk. '_With your penis,_' his yellow caption box added.

Tomorrow came quickly and Captain Wilson excused himself from the cabin. After showing Songbird to her chambers, he headed straight to the kitchens. He found Wanda there, bent over as she cooked something. Probably an egg. Her ass was up in the air, so tight and so round. Wade spanked it and it felt good. Wanda turned in disbelief. "Captain Wilson!" she exclaimed. Wade smirked. "I liked your cookies," he said with a grin, "And I think you'd like mine." She slapped him. Wade felt his erection grow but controlled himself.

"Okay baby, I'm sorry," he started but stopped when her dress fell down to the ground. "I need a man," she admitted. Wilson cocked his head to the side then decided he'd hit that and shoved her up against the table, bending her forwards. He tore at her bra and panties then pressed his lips to the back of her neck, kissing down her perfectly formed back, between her shoulder blades, and along her spine.

His hands gripped her bare butt, rubbing roughly. She moaned and he chuckled catching her lips with his own as he spread her ass cheeks apart. He pushed his cock inside and she tensed up. She was so tight that she had to be a virgin. He pounded her ass against the table viciously. He thrust in and out repeatedly. His hands were still on her butt, squeezing tightly and pushing them up against his rock hard cock. His dick was like a projectile, darting in and out of her with unbelievable speed. She gripped the table and groaned out feeling him cum inside of her.

His lips were back on her skin, his tongue encircling the small of her back. Her long brown hair smelled good. It smelled like apples. Wade liked apples. She orgasmed. His job done, Wade gave one last thrust for good measure then pulled out and spun her around. His penis slid inside her mouth and he came again. Wanda had never tasted cock before. She wanted more but Wade pulled out. With a wink he started to redress. Wanda pouted but picked up her dress as well. "The crew will need breakfast soon," Wade said as if nothing had happened and turned to leave.

The ship rocked violently and dishes smashed around them. A voice sounded across the vessel: the voice of an angry father. "Hear me scum!" The wall was torn off from the outside and the beast-like man known as Sabretooth pounced inside, dressed in a black suit and tie. Lightning sounded as the voice's owner appeared at the hole, clad in red battle armour with the mark of the royal navy on his shoulder pad as he floated into the kitchens, his arms crossed in rage. Wade hated it when his enemies crossed their arms; it was practically a declaration of war. "I am Magneto!" he shouted at Wade and Wanda as Clayface, Damian and Songbird arrived at the scene, worried for the ship's safety now that there was a gaping hole in it, "And I have come for my daughter!"

**Author's Notes: Holy Cliffhanger Robin! (wonder if he'll appear) stay tuned for the next chapter: Savage Land, Savage Ladies. Also: check out my profile for a new competition. Deadpool loves you all!**


	2. Savage Land, Savage Ladies!

Erik Lensherr, or Magneto as he was known in the trade, was a high ranking general within the royal navy. He had fabulous eyebrows. They stood out even more when he was angry. In fact, his eyebrows were all that Wade could focus on. "Give me Wanda!" he ordered. Wade didn't respond. The surprisingly well-dressed Victor Creed cocked his head to the side. "Lost your tongue Wilson?" Sabretooth growled. Wade felt around in his mouth to make sure before he answered: "No, it's still where I left it." Sabretooth scowled.

Magneto descended down to Wade's level, standing amongst the assembled crew. He avoided Wanda's glare. "Return my daughter to me and I will leave in peace. I have no quarrel with you captain..." Wade paused. He glanced at Wanda then back to Magneto. "No."

Sabretooth lunged at him, his claws ready to rip out his throat, but a revolver was out of its holster and into Wade's hand firing at him before he could blink. Creed fell to the ground with a grunt as he body healed from the bullet wounds. "She clearly left you for a reason besides your eyebrows, so explain..." Wade said simply. Magneto looked at Wilson, sizing him up, and then sighed: "Fine. I'll tell you the story..." Wade grinned.

_Once upon a time there were two children. A boy and a girl named Pietro and Wanda. Their father, Erik, was a proud general in the navy. Pietro wanted to be just like his father and enrolled in the royal navy as well. He was killed in battle. Wanda blamed her father. Barely a month after her brother's death, Wanda was betrothed to a gentleman named Victor Creed; unfortunately Wanda was in love with another man: a rebellious sailor called Hal Jordan. Erik had Hal transferred to Admiral Frost's crew and sent away leaving Wanda with no option but to settle for Creed. Wanda found another option and ran away from her home one night. She joined the pirate crew of the valiant vessel known as The Deadpool, and the rest is history..._

"She didn't love the man," Wade commented, "this Creed guy was probably a total loser anyway." Sabretooth growled and lunged again, getting closer but not close enough. Wade chuckled, "What's the matter with you Vic?" Magneto held out his arm to hold Sabretooth back. "Will you return her peacefully or will force be necessary?" Wade considered his position. "Captain," Clayface reported, "The ship is sinking." Wade made up his mind. "If she wants to go then I won't stop her, but it's her choice."

"I'm not going" Wanda stated. "Why would you disobey your father? Victor is a fine gentleman and you have a fine house and a loving father. What more could you want?" Wanda scowled. "My brother. And the man I love." There were tears in her arms. "Time out!" Wade shouted and beckoned Magneto over. He whispered something into his ear and Magneto returned to his daughter. "You don't have to marry Creed if you don't want to," he decided. Sabretooth looked downhearted. Wade almost felt sorry for him. "And I may not have told you this as often as I should Wanda but... I love you."

Tears rolled down Wanda's cheeks and she wrapped her arms around her father, lost in the emotions of the moment. She had been waiting to hear him say that for so long now. "I'll come home," she said. Magneto turned to Captain Wilson. "Is there any way I can repay you?" Clayface coughed to remind Wade they were sinking. "Of course," Magneto said before Wade could answer, and he, holding Wanda's hand and ascending out of the ship. With great effort, he lifted the ship into the air using his powers and eased it down onto a nearby tropic island. "You are safe. We are even." With that Magneto and the Scarlet Witch were gone. "What the heck?" Sabretooth demanded from within the ship. Wade grinned.

"How was he able to lift the ship like that?" Songbird asked Wade. "He has the magnificent power of magnetism," Wade told her. "I thought the boat was wooden," Damian muttered. "Wood isn't a type of metal?" Clayface remarked in astonishment. "It's a very metal-like wood," Wade stated. "I hate you all," Sabretooth added helpfully.

Sabretooth was given Wanda's room and the decision was made to sleep in the wreckage for the night then set off in search of pirate booty in the morning. Wade returned to his cabin to find it was the worst hit by Magneto's attack. The prison cell was destroyed and Zinda was sat free on his bed looking irritated. "Hello..." Wade started unsure. Zinda turned to face him, her eyes red from tears. She slapped him. "I'm leaving to find a way home. In the morning. I'll sleep here tonight." Wade cocked his head to the side. "What makes you think I won't stop you?" She smirked. "You can screw me before I leave." There was cheekiness to her voice and Wade found himself turned on by it.

Wade shut the door to what was left of his cabin. Then he approached her, placing his hand on her thigh. It was as smooth as he had imagined. "How hard?" he asked. "As hard as you can," she winked. Wade grabbed her cheeks, pulling her lips to his and pushing her down onto the bed so that he was on top of her, his legs pressed up against her hips. He kissed her on the tip of her nose then started to undress. He ripped off his clothes and tugged down his underwear. He squeezed her boobs through her dress then stripped her also. He threw away her underwear and spread her legs apart. His cock pushed into her.

He started to thrust into her quickly, hitting her g-spot and making her tremble in his arms. She gripped his chest and her fingers stroked over his nipples. He kissed her again, and his dick pounded her hard. Her pussy tightened around him and she moaned out. As she did so, she pinched his nipples making him groan. He smacked her ass then rolled backwards so she was on top. She grinned and pinned his arms down then rode him harder than he would have thought she could.

The bed rocked dangerously beneath them as they fucked. He gripped her butt tightly, occasionally releasing his grip to spank her. A smirk was plastered to her face permanently as she rolled her hips back and forth onto him. Her hands were still at his nipples, giving the odd tweak, but mostly rubbing. Wade's arms broke free and he forced her up, off the bed and against the wall where he pounded into her slower but with much more force. She screamed out with each thrust, her hands entangled in his hair. She had to orgasm at such force and slumped down against him. He smiled. She licked her lips. Then they had sex again. They had to have made love at least four times that night, each more vigorously than the last, but by the time morning came and Wade awoke, Zinda was gone.

Wade gathered the remainder of his crew: Damian, Clayface, Songbird, and now, Sabretooth. Together, they set off into the savage land they had arrived in. The place seemed like paradise but every tree they came to, had the image of a burning bird engraved on their surface: a phoenix. Then the met the woman. She had flowing red hair and beautiful green eyes and wore nothing but a ripped up green bra and tight panties with a scrap of fabric held around her waist by a belt composed of a piece of string and sharpened animal teeth. She held a spear to their throats. "Identify yourself," she ordered. Wade stepped forwards, "I am Wade Wilson and this is my crew of adventurers. We have been stranded here." The redhead lowered her weapon. "I am Jean Grey, leader of the Phoenix tribe. Welcome to the Savage Land." Wade looked back at his crew impressed. "I'm glad we found such a developed civilization to deal with," he smirked admiring her choice of dress. She was clearly very in shape and damn, she was fit.

Jean led the team to the village of her tribe and they were greeted like heroes. Then they had sex. Apparently it was custom for the villagers, who suspiciously were all beautiful women, to sleep with their guests and serve their every need. Even Songbird screwed one of them. Clayface had sex twice, once as himself, once as Wanda, just so she wouldn't feel left out, not that she'd ever know. As the leader of the pack, Wade was allowed first choice of which babe to fuck. There was no competition: Jean was the girl for him. She was perfect.

Jean led Wade to her tent and gestured for him to enter with a smile. Wade grinned. Wade looked around the tent. There was a chest for her belongings, a hammock for sleep, and a tree stump to be used as a chair. Wade took a seat on the stump. Jean entered the tent and walked confidently towards him until she reached him, then she slid down his body until she was on her knees in front of him. She tugged at his pants until she got his penis free. She licked her tongue along the shaft until it rested on the head. Wade could say in all honesty, that no woman had ever given a blowjob as good as Jean did.

She rolled his balls over her tongue and took one into her mouth, sucking softly. She ran her tongue along his shaft again. Then she took the tip insider her mouth and sucked gently, teasingly. She took more into her throat and sucked harder. Wade couldn't take it any longer and shoved his dick all the way into her mouth, his hands resting on the back of her head, holding her down. Jean's head bobbed up and down enthusiastically, ravishing his cock.

She stopped suddenly and stood up, turning around and rubbing her ass against his dick. "How did you know I wanted to ass-fuck you now?" Jean winked, "Didn't I mention I'm telepathic. I know everything you want Wade. I'm going to give you everything you want."

Wade slammed his dick into her butt and thrust without hesitation or mercy. She screamed as he penetrated her, but soon got into the swing of it, her small hands reached back and rubbed at his inner thighs to get him hornier, she wanted it harder. She wanted it harder because Wade wanted to give it harder, so Wade gave it harder.

Wade's mouth played with her hair, sucking on the strands and licking at her neck. Jean's skin was exotic and slightly salty. Wade loved salt. He thought there might even be a bit of vinegar on her too, but that may have been his imagination. Jean's thumbs pushed at his testicles and Wade gave an almighty thrust causing the two to fall over forwards into a heap on the floor.

Then Jean bent over the stump and Wade grinned realising she had heard his thoughts. He began to spank her. Her face contorted and her eyes fluttered shut with each slap against her butt-cheeks. This didn't go on for long before Wade spun her around and thrust into her vagina.

In truth, the crew stayed at the Phoenix village for several days, enjoying their 'welcome' before Wade made the decision that they had to move on. His crew followed him loyally. Sabretooth refused on the grounds he wasn't a crew member and remained in the village. Jean gave them directions to where they could find 'the wizard.' Then she and Wade had sex again, just for luck.

Almost a day later, they found two joined huts with a roaring flame outside: the wizard's domain. Wade ordered his crew to wait outside. Damian, Clayface, and Songbird nodded to show their agreement, Alfred purred. Damian, being ten years old, had not received sex from the Phoenix followers; instead they'd given him Alfred. Alfred was a tiger.

Captain Wade Wilson pushed open the door to the first hut and stepped inside. He was greeted by a wispy bearded man: the wizard Merlin. "No!" Merlin shouted in protest, "You were supposed to be lulled into staying with the phoenix tribe so you could no longer trouble the world with the piracy. Why else would Jean Grey taste of salt and vinegar!" "So there was vinegar," the captain nodded in approval.

At this point, the door to the other hut opened and Lady Blackhawk emerged, her costume was significantly... less, than it had been before. It had been 'savage-landed' as Wade referred to this phenomenon when women's clothes deteriorated upon entering such a jungle-land. She looked at Wade for a moment then rolled her eyes and left the hut.

"I want my 3 wishes!" Wade demanded suddenly, turning back to Merlin. Merlin sighed, "That stuff is fairytales Captain Wilson. This is the real world. You only get one wish." Wade paused. "I wish that a ship would come to this island and pick me and my crew up." Merlin pointed to the door to the other hut. "Sure. My assistant will finalize the details next door."

Wade shrugged and entered the other hut. The lights were dim and sat in the middle of the room on her knees as if meditating was a young girl with hair as dark as coal and wearing a rather revealing magician's outfit: top hat, bowtie, stockings and all: Zatanna. _'Yummy'_ one of Wade's caption boxes thought.

Zatanna turned to the captain, her eyes young and innocent. "So what do we have to do to make the magic happen?" Wade asked with a wink. Zatanna turned red, "We have to make love..." she said quietly, nervously. Wilson's caption box thought long and hard before responding: _'...score!'_

Wade's eyes widened as he realised what must have gone on in here with Zinda. His felt his erection grow significantly. In moments he was undressed, his rock hard dick ready to go. Zatanna took her time stripping, putting on a show. She was a born performer. Even so, it wasn't long until she too was naked and lying on the floor waiting for him. Wade straddled her and fondled her breasts. She moaned as he traced a line down her chest and to her opening. His fingers circled her mound before slipping inside and fingering her, two fingers sliding into her repeatedly.

His other hand slipped round her and down her back until it reached her ass. He squeezed her butt tightly then slid a finger into there as well. She was like putty in his hands as he took her from both sides, fingering her fast and furious. Zatanna wasn't used to such a vigorous start and her orgasm began. But the spell wouldn't be complete until he came as well.

Her hands gripped his dick, working along the shaft with speed and force. It wasn't enough, she leant back and let him slide his fingers out then lower his penis in. Her vagina clenched up as his cock started to pound into her. His left hand still had its index finger firmly in her anus, pumping in and out. As his hips grinded into hers, he leant down to whisper into her ear, "What was it like with Zinda then?" Zatanna took a moment to catch her breath. "It was pretty good. She likes it pretty dirty. I had to get out the chains..." Wade groaned out, imaging what it must have been like with the two of them. "Will you get something out for me?" Wade asked innocently. Zatanna licked his cheek, "Of course, if it will help." Wade whispered something into her ear. "Ananab!" Zatanna ordered backwards and it appeared. Wade licked his lips.

Captain Wilson sat on Zatanna's abdomen wanking off as he watched her eating a banana. She savoured each bite, sucking on it passionately. Occasionally she'd miss her mouth, smearing the fruit over her perfect skin. She took the last bit of the banana into her mouth, rolling it around with her tongue. Wade felt himself drawing near. She rubbed the skin down her chest then started to rub her pussy with it gently. She tongue released the final bite of banana and she swallowed. Wade ejaculated over her face.

The spell now complete, Wade left the young magician with a final kiss and a quick grope of her ass, cheekily shoving the banana skin into it. She didn't seem to mind. With a proud smile on his face and the smell of success and fruity goodness coating him, he left the huts to rejoin his trusty crew. Alfred looked away, Songbird's eyes widened and a smile drew across her face, Damian snorted, and Clayface stared in disbelief. "Uh... sir," Clayface said as subtlety as he could, "I think you've forgotten your clothes..." Wade examined himself, it was true: he was still naked. "That little minx..." he cursed, "She must have stolen them!"

He clicked his fingers and held out his hand to Damian. Damian pulled a mask out of his utility belt and handed it to Wade. The mask was red and black, and had been crafted for him by Jean Grey and the phoenix tribe at his request. "The ship is gone, the Deadpool is dead," Wade started as his caption box voices started to play dramatic music and pulled an inspirational pose that would have been far more inspirational if he had clothes on, or at least underwear. "But fear not," he went on, "this mask symbolises a new beginning, the Deadpool lives on in us. From now on_ I_ am the Deadpool. Long Live the Deadpool!" The crew joined in with cries and chants of joy: "Long live the Deadpool!"

Lady Blackhawk watched from the bushes, she wouldn't miss the opportunity to see Wade Wilson without clothes again for the world. In the distance a noble vessel was approaching the island. Little did they know that both Wade and Zinda's wishes were being granted as one. A ship had come for them all, the ship of Admiral Frost and the royal navy...


	3. IN THE NAVY!

**Author's Notes: ****It's been a while due to technical difficulties but I'm back and so is Deadpool! I hope you don't get sea-sick...**

"Good to have you back with us," Admiral Emma Frost of the royal navy greeted Zinda Blake. "It's good to be back," she replied. Wade snorted. Wade, still naked, and his crew, thankfully clothed, were in chains at the back of the room. "Come. We must go and have lesbian sex in my cabin." Frost ordered. In hindsight, Wade was pretty sure she didn't say that but he couldn't remember what she actually said. Regardless, both women disappeared leaving two guards behind: Hal Jordan and Arisia Rrab. Arisia took Wade's crew away to the cells below while Hal was left to guard Wade who, apparently, Frost had instructed to remain where he was. Wade assumed it was so she could fuck him after Zinda.

"Hal, right?" Wade started. "Shut up." Wade took that as a yes. "You're clearly not happy here. Wanda's father has repented and will permit you to return and marry her but I can only help you get back if you help me." Hal paused then decided this was a good idea and unlocked Wade's chains. "You should put some clothes on," Hal said. "Don't be ridiculous!" Wade answered.

Wade and Hal raced down to the dungeon of Admiral Frost's vessel where they found Damian, Clayface and Songbird in the prison cells with Arisia outside. "You free my crew," Wade whispered to Hal, "I'll distract the guard." _Mhm, Elf ears..._ a caption box commented.

"Heya babycakes," Wade stepped out, announcing his arrival. Arisia gasped, jumping to her feet. "See that cupboard over there?" he asked. She nodded. "There's an escaped prisoner in there." Arisia scowled. "No seriously, look!" Wade said. Arisia relented and walked over to the cupboard, opening it. Wade pushed her inside, and with a wink followed her in, shutting the door behind him. Alfred the tiger growled from Damian's cell as the cupboard started to rock.

In seconds, Wade had Arisia naked and was thrusting into her. He kept the mask on to give him an air of mystery. Arisia moaned out loudly as his dick pumped in and out of her. His hands cupped her cheeks and stroked the soft skin. His mouth licked the end of her left ear then started to nibble on the end. He always imagined his ideal woman would have elf ears.

Wade's hips rocked against hers and his hands released her face, running down her chest and groping her boobs. Arisia's legs lifted off the ground as she was slammed into the wall and they instinctively wrapped around Wade's waist, her arms gripping his shoulders. Wade licked his lips and licked his tongue up the side of her face. She groaned out lustily as he pounded her.

Hal snuck to the cells as quiet as he could and released Wade's crew. He got a high-five from Clayface for his efforts. Songbird looked at him in his guard uniform confused. "I'm Hal Jordan, I'm here to rescue you," he told her. She sighed, looking over at the cupboard where her captain was fucking the other guard. "We should tell him we're ready..." Damian said. "No need!" Wade replied as the doors burst open and she slammed Arisia down into the floor, his cock still sliding in and out of her. "I'm finished too," he said as he ejaculated into her. Arisia moaned out, her walls clenching as she orgasmed. Wade left her panting on the floor, as he put on some clothes for the first time in what seemed like ages. Only Songbird was disappointed.

Wade sent Hal and his crew to where he knew Frost kept the smaller vessels she had captured. He told them to set sail immediately and he would catch up. He had unfinished business first.

Wade noted that almost all of Frost's crew were female. He checked out a fair few of them on the way to Frost's cabin. He found himself face to face with Zinda Blake outside of the captain's cabin. "Let me pass..." he ordered. "Why?" She demanded. Wade grabbed her and shoved her up against the wall, lifting her legs over his shoulders and tugging aside her panties under her skirt. Then he pressed his lips to her pussy. Her eyes clenched shut as his mouth worked her vagina, licking and sucking. She felt herself getting wet as his fingers joined in, tugging at her entrance. Her hands gripped the back of his head, pushing him further into her. Wade ate her out quickly and she came fast. "Fuck!" she screamed out, "You've got ten minutes..." she whispered and Wade dropped her, rushing into Frost's cabin.

"Hello Emma..." he started. She turned to face him in shock. She was only wearing thin lacey white underwear. "Wade... I should have known chains wouldn't hold you." Wade grinned: "Yes you should have, you've tied me up in here a fair few times..." Emma smirked. "It's my duty to arrest you." Wade smirked. "It's my duty to fuck your brains out," he retorted. Then suddenly Emma was on him, kissing him hard while her arms and legs wrapped around him.

He pushed her down onto the floor and grabbed her thighs tightly. "Don't you think it's time I tied you up..." he whispered. She pointed to a wardrobe in the corner of the room. "The handcuffs are in there, at the bottom." Wade grinned and tossed her onto the bed. He flung open the wardrobe and fished out a pair of handcuffs. Then he clicked them around Emma's wrists, trapping her hands behind her back

Wade licked down her chest, chewing apart her boobs until her breasts hung free. He sucked on her tits contently. She moaned out for more and Wade obliged, his finger slipping into her panties and tugging them aside. He pushed her legs up into the air so he could get at her ass then pushed into her. With a light spank, his dick was all the way into her butt and he started to fuck it. His mouth still worked her tits relentlessly.

Frost cried out at the force which he thrust into her but Wade silenced her with another spank. "Harder" she begged. "Say the magic word..." Wade taunted. "Vinegar!" she screamed out and Wade fucked her even harder. He released her breasts and his mouth now moved up to hers and they kissed while he screwed her ass.

Emma prided herself that she could last longer than most women but Wade was different. He knew just which buttons to press, just how to arouse her, and just how to make her cum. He dragged his tongue until the ridge of her nose while his hands roamed her body, stroking her abdomen. With one extra hard thrust he finished her off and she gave into orgasm. Wade grinned. "You just go Deadpooled" he announced standing up and redressing. He gave a mock salute then ran out of the room. Emma shouted after him for the key to the handcuffs and her knickers but he was grinned as he tucked the panties into his pocket and tossed the key to Zinda outside who was slumped against the wall fingering herself.

Deadpool pushed past the soldiers and sailors until he reached the deck. Gunfire echoed after him. They were after him, there was only one escape. He leaped off the side of the boat... and into the smaller vessel below that his crew were escaping in. With a smile, Wade waved to the astonished navy members. "You will always remember this day..." he called out, "As the day you almost caught... Captain Wade Wilson!" and with that last remark, Deadpool and his ship were away.

Deadpool turned to face his crew and opened his mouth to speak... but then he disappeared in a bright blue light leaving the others in complete confusion. "Where the hell am I?" Wade asked as he opened his eyes...

**Next: Deadpool Beyond!**


End file.
